(This is only a small glimpse of a bigger whole, a fraction of relationships that I've written about time and time again. As usual I plan on pursuing this subject even more to walk through the different stages of a relationship. This one pertains mostly to the beginning stages, before dating has begun, before the "pursuit" is allowed.)
I once was told that two people, that God has destined for each other, are put on two parallel lines. The closer each person gets to God, the farther along these lines, or paths, they proceed. Sometimes they stumble, and they veer off the path while the other steadily moves ahead, or vice versa, but once we follow God again we come back to the straight. Then there is a certain point where God has pre-determined that these two people are ready, and He then begins to bring these two lines together, until they meet in the middle, and so they become one line continually moving forward, with God, forever.
The problem with this analogy is that it becomes too linear. (Pun Intended.) Too many questions go unanswered. For instance, if I screw up and fall behind while the other moves forward, do I have to then catch up? or do they slow down in their relationship with God long enough for me to get there? Do we not meet until the lines are ready to come together? Is the point where a christian is "ready" the same for both people? All people? Perhaps there are multiple parallel lines side-by-side, and He is waiting for two of them to get to a certain point first and brings them together because they won the race, while in the meantime we sometimes veer into other lines we were never meant to?
What I'm missing here is the human aspect, the heart, and the full understanding that life is just not that simple.
What I do not believe anymore is that there is a certain level. There is no point in a christian's walk with God that can easily be translated into "being ready," and if there is a point I implore you to find it and tell me where that is. you don't just reach a certain level, as there are no levels in christianity.
What matters most to God is the heart, and the person's willingness to surrender everything up to him. What begins with salvation is actually the ongoing process of letting go. Where we slowly give up our control to allow Him to take over and guide us where we need to be. It's not about me praying more or reading the bible often or even the amount of people I may bring to Christ. (That last one is a trick. you can't bring anyone to Christ. Jesus comes to them, and even through this it's an example of the breaking down of inhibitions before the two can be found in a warm embrace.)
Try as you might, if your goals is to reach a certain level, you may never get there.
So what we begin to see instead is a breaking down, a continual humbling process that, as human beings, we are prone to fighting against. Because sometimes we are able to let go of those things over there, but we still want to hang on to these things over here, but if we are to allow God to give us anything, we must first be willing to let go of our own selfish desires. We must be willing to go where He wants to take us, not just in our mind and speech, but in our heart and soul.
Coming back to the subject of the person God has set aside for you, with this mentality, one can see that the former analogy doesn't really work. Instead we apply the process of letting go.
It's when we are able to create a connection, to see what we want, to desire these things that God has shown us, and yet have the full capability to say "No." We have to fight the urges to take control, and as men, the urge to pursue. When God puts something in front of us our initial instinct is to go after it, but God doesn't want us to do that. He wants discipline. Patience. And a willingness to say to him wholeheartedly,
"If that is who you want to give me, I will wait, because she is not mine to own, she is Yours. She belongs to You, and it shall remain this way forever. Should this be what you intend, I will consider it a gift from You, a constant reminder that I am not worthy of her presence. So may I treat whoever you allow me to share my life with gentle hands and a humble heart, accepting that I did not win her by my own merit but by Your blessing she is here - to pursue what you intended with Adam and Eve, and I would consider myself lucky. That You would grant me the honor of having her by my side on this Earth, until the day You come back to reclaim her and myself into Your kingdom, would be, next to the promises You've made and fulfilled when You gave Your son and that of an Eternal Life, the greatest joy I could ever know."
It is this willing and open hear that God needs to see. The letting go of our own control, lifting it up to Him, so that He might give us the deepest desires of our heart, should we have humbled ourselves enough to accept it under His conditions.
What are your thoughts? Do you believe we have to let go before we can fully dive in? Does the "she belongs to God" thing make sense or could I be more clear?
Mattias is an actor, writer, filmmaker, and editor currently living in Los Angeles, CA. He often writes about his observations about life, the human condition, spirituality, and relationships. He also enjoys writing about movies, pop culture, formula one, and current events. Often these writings are 'initial thoughts' and un-edited, as authentic as possible, and should be considered opinions. If you're interested in commenting on his work, or continuing the conversation, you should consider following him on Twitter or share an article on social media, where he would love to engage even further. Consider subscribing via RSS for more.